pcfulchaos's Diaryland Diary

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Fear

I sit on the battered chair in the so-called lounge, my ears assaulted by the too-loud sounds emanating from the television behind the metal wired cabinet � my eyes refusing to meet the pairs of eyes that are staring at me from across the pale green room. My arms are folded tightly across my chest in a �don�t you dare approach me� stance that I�m not proud of. I don�t know where to look, my heart is beating a little faster and my eyes are a drop away from overflowing �

An Asian woman shuffles past deep in conversation as a younger purple-hooded woman carefully cradles her orange juice in two hands as she slowly heads to the open door that I assume is her room. Walter�s booming voice fills the lobby as he announces that there are 5, 678 atomic missiles aimed at Washington at this moment (I know that I am doing Walter an injustice as I have picked a number from thin air � and Walter always makes mention of the same number and I do not remember the number) �

I�m ashamed to admit that I immediately tense and hope that Walter does not recognize me from my previous visits. But he does and comes shuffling over to impart his conspiracy theories to a live audience of one.

I nod � not meeting his eyes � and Walter having now spent as much time as my son in this place is aware enough to notice � and I watch his shoulders sag as he turns and shuffles away mumbling beneath his breath �

I am ashamed.

1:47 p.m. - 2008-08-26

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